A lot of people have asked me, “When you sit down with your subjects, what do you ask them?” or, “How do you get people to say the ‘right thing’?“
I hate to disappoint, but there is no” right or wrong” thing for any of our participants to say. The beautiful and fascinating thing about the documentary process is that the characters speak to us; we don’t craft them. The only thing in our control at this stage in production is the ability to create such an environment for them so that they are comfortable with opening up to us.
Generally, we begin an interview with basic questions: “Let’s start with you telling us your name, age, where you’re from…etc.” And off they go! Sometimes we can’t get a word in for the next 2 hours; and sometimes, getting anymore information is like pulling teeth! 
After a few minutes, we get more specific: “Tell me more about the first time you met your husband…” This approach helps in getting the individual to restate the “question” so that the footage will make sense if the audience didn’t hear the original question.
After a few more visits, and after the subject is even more comfortable opening up to us, we might even go the random route: “Tell us about your first kiss…” or “How did your marriage challenge you?“
It’s wonderful to hear about the amazing moments from when widows/widowers first met their significant other–I especially love when couples correct each other, “No, it happened this way!“
Sometimes it goes this way:
Husband: “Well, I was making $75 a week–”
Wife: “–no, you were making $100 a week, or I wouldn’t have gone out on that date with you!“
Here are some other things we think about when filming:
1. Never interrupt anyone at anytime! Unless the roof is about to cave in or that person’s life is in danger…
2. After the individual is done speaking, we allow for a grace period of silence. Interestingly, this is actually when some of the most remarkable personal information is revealed.
3. And, I’ve been told by a friend (it’s you Cecelia, if you’re reading!) that if you let someone sit for 7 seconds in silence, they’ll eventually speak up. Our culture is predisposed to talking, talking, talking, so if you give them those 7 seconds, they feel compelled to fill the silence (this coincides with #2). And more than often, they do!
4. When you’re interviewing 2 people at a time, we usually want to cut ourselves out of the conversation and get those two to simply interact with each other organically. So we look away and avoid eye contact! (but re-establish eye contact when the moment is over so that they do not think you are just ignoring them!) Whoever’s operating sound will look down at the mixer and the camera operator will look down or away. This helps to characterize those individuals and generate more interaction between the two to make it feel like a simple conversation between the two caught on camera.
Please feel free to comment with any questions, we’re happy to answer! I will post more techniques we use in the filming process in the coming weeks…
